One day, actually this morning, I caught myself doing something that left me cringing very much. I thought about how much I wanted to get revenge on people.
There were situations in which I felt like I needed to right what wrongs were directed toward me in the past from many, many people. I know most of the wrongs I wanted to correct my way, but I know that some of them wouldn’t have ended up in my favor. Especially in Spirituality. I’ve struggled with this “Revenge Obsession” my entire life. Every day was a nightmare because my thoughts were stagnant in my mind. It was a special kind of OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder).
I wanted out but not too long ago, I caught myself for the first time acknowledging that I have an obsession with revenge. I couldn’t do my daily activities because I had these thoughts that did not go away. So many times I ended up feeling bad all day, left with many different, negative feelings. Did I wonder how many people go through this exactly? More than just you.
What I did was take a shower, breathe deeply as much as I could, focusing on bathing, and I felt my crown chakra activate. I silently asked the spirit to assist me in removing the “Revenge Obsession” for at least today as I needed to focus on the present moment. After the shower, I felt refreshed. I walked into the kitchen, poured a tall glass of water from my pitcher, held my breath and drank the water. I finally allowed myself to breathe deeply and be in the present moment. I was able to write this blog, I was able to do an accurate Tarot reading. I felt great and energized and felt confident for today because, over time, I’m getting better at it.
I’m not perfect at all (from someone who has Virgo Perfection Syndrome) and I need an extra push from the spirit to assist me in getting through my terrible thoughts. I needed to understand that the past is the past, so I can’t just find a time machine and get back there. I needed to let go. Letting go is hard, but necessary to not have a dis-ease of the mind, body, and spirit. I realize that the now is where things will continue to get better in the future as long as I’m feeling and getting the high vibration.
Connecting to Spirit is very much important as it is the foundation to reach the self. You become aware of yourself. Ask yourself questions about how you feel most days to yourself. Ask yourself if you can forget about it for at least five minutes and during those five minutes, can you meditate? Attempt to do this with the first thought and see where it takes you. Every person will individually achieve this as not everyone is the same. Some people need nano steps while others may only need a few days to become consistent with the practice, so don’t think you’re doing something wrong. Take your time. Be gentle with yourself.
Have a lovely day!